Beauty in Brokenness

"True prayer is born out of brokenness." ~ Francis J. Roberts

On our recent trip to Gulf Shores, I went on several quests for shells. One morning I found myself looking for the shells that were broken, pieces missing, the ones that always get picked over. I was drawn to the ones that had huge holes in the center or were just fragments of larger shells. I encountered a woman who was also earnestly searching, bag in hang, bent over the piles of shells left like secret gifts during the night. She saw me in my searcher's stance and joked, "You're not getting my coral, are ya?" I laughed and said no, that I was rescuing all the unwanted shells. She smiled and I could only imagine what she must be thinking: "Loon".

Of course I cannot just gallop along picking up shells whistling a tune in uncluttered bliss. No. My mind does not work that way. It is FOREVER excavating for deeper meaning, deeper purpose. Deeper. Always deeper. Frankly it wears me out at times, and that is when you might find me putting multiple pairs of sunglasses on my face or running around in the yard at dusk trying to get a picture of a lightning bug. I just have to decompress from all that subterranean thought.

So the broken shells. Isn't it funny that we are like that too, with ourselves and with life in general? Don't we strive to always grasp for the shiniest, prettiest, flashiest, best? Even more so, we expect that of ourselves. We're not worthy to be picked, admired, displayed unless we are coiffed, polished...perfect. I am not alluding to the idea that to pursue our personal best is not a noble and admirable endeavor. I just think it is time that we give ourselves, and each other, the grace to be a little cracked, maybe somewhat crusted sometimes.

I am even more grateful that God is a broken shell-seeker. I have been fractured mind, body, heart and spirit and yet, He still scoops me up and holds me like I am the only treasure He was looking for. Even better, He already sees the centered mind, the restored body, the beating and thriving heart, the free spirit. Every piece ever lost can be found in the middle of His hand.

So He sees you and you are beautiful, a cherished prize. Take a look at these and see if they don't change your mind. My hope is that I too, will see others with eyes that find the beauty in the midst of brokenness.






Beauty in brokenness

Yael Naim - Far Far

There are so many songs that are 'mine'. This is one of those.

Perspective

You may see weeds that are in need of mowing...




I see a bajillion childhood wishes for blowing.

So I'm in the Riviera Maya

Disregard that last entry...for now. It's my blog and I can skip it if I want to! Right now I am in sunny Mexico on the Riviera Maya swimming in waters that happen to be my favorite color. I don't have long to go on and on right now. Not only am I on 'borrowed' internet time (pay-by-the-minute internet), but who wants to be attached to technology with so much festivity to be had all around me? So I will literally be drifting in a blue hammock in the Caribbean for the next week. I have a folder full of blog possibilities and hope to unearth even more inspiration here for when I return. Until then, buenos noches!

Still Holding On

The last mile in a grueling race

The final push before new life enters the world

The first (or any) words in a story yet written

A few weeks ago, in the dangling between holding on and letting go, I felt very much like my grip on some areas in my life was slipping. As in the situations above, I had reached that point of difficulty in some things and came so close to letting them slip from my fingers. In so many instances, it becomes a matter of pushing forward or giving up. I admire those who seem to have a firm grasp on staying the course and steadily moving ahead. I am not one of those. There are times I reach a limit, a point where I am suspended by the very tips of my fingers, breathless and dripping with a sweat borne of sheer will. Thankfully I AM one that will, at the last second, scream from somewhere within and extract a stubborn determination to press on. I have found that stength and will again. I am still holding on fiercely. I won't let go.

By a Thread

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” – Havelock Ellis

I came across this quote recently. Interesting that I stumbled upon it at this moment in time. I am right now residing squarely in the fine mingling. Hanging right between letting go and holding on, I dangle by a thread. Lately, I swing precariously close to the side of letting go. Of so many things.