Warning: Food Post

For starters, I am NOT a foodie.  I am not a big fan of 'plate posting' on social media - 'Here, look what I am eating!  Num nummy num!'  However, occasionally, I share something that I actually cooked (a rare sighting - it must be documented).  It is especially important these days when I am working on this autoimmune paleo.  Guess what you can eat for breakfast on AIP?  Absolutely NOTHING that is normally accepted as 'breakfast fare'.  So whatd'ya do?  You cook up something that sounds good.  I did this today and it was out of this world.  

Pan-Seared Pork Tenderloin with Rosemary Balsamic and Orange Sauce

Served with a side of mixed greens - breakfast of champions

Here is the recipe link if you are so inclined and want to try it - for breakfast, or whenever.

http://www.cookingchanneltv.com/recipes/kelsey-nixon/pan-seared-pork-tenderloin-with-rosemary-balsamic-and-orange-sauce.html

What's a Girl to Do?

Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I have some money 'cause i just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in awful way

~Sam Cooke, 'Another Saturday Night"

Okay, it's not Saturday (yet) and I'm not really in an awful way, but this song came to mind - everyone has scattered to the four winds and I have the house to myself.  What's a girl to do?

This girl puts on a pot of coffee and a documentary about the invasion of Finland by the Russians, and she settle in, that's what.  Dark clouds are rolling in, and I am completely fine with that too.  Bring it.  

I rolled through recent posts looking for my list of ideas to see what I might post here.  I could ramble, for sure, but I don't think I want to do that right now.  I want to tell some sort of story, even if it is my very own, lifted from the pages of my days.  

Last weekend was graduation weekend for our local high school.  One of our neighbors, dear friends, were celebrating their daughter's graduation.  She is one of our Girl's sweet friends, one of many that call me 'Mama', so of course we had to attend.  It was a low country boil, my first.  That was an experience - I think I am fond of taking pots of various foods and tossing them on a table covered with newspaper.  The company was great - neighbor friend's family and then a collection of our daughters' friends from their 'group' - hanging out on the lawn in chairs, playing corn hole, throwing frisbee.  

Then someone brought out a guitar.  

Out on the front porch, all of us gathered around in a circle and with a kaleidoscope for a sky as the backdrop, we started to sing.  John Mayer's 'Why Georgia?'.  Tom Petty's 'Free Fallin'.  'Rocky Mountain High' by John Denver.  Worship songs.  'Mary, Did You Know'.  'Simple Man' by Lynyrd Skynyrd.  'Revelation Song'.  

During one of the worship songs, '10,000 Reasons' by Matt Redman, suddenly my throat started to close up with a now unfamiliar rush of emotion.  The canvas before me washed watercolor with my tears and I realized:  This.  This is what my soul has longed for.  What my dim faith has needed. 

A recent commenter on here offered up the idea of writing about faith - mine has been dull, and lifeless for a while.  Flatlined.  It has been a combination of things, to be honest.  One thing I have attributed it to is a 'rut' where church is concerned.  It really doesn't matter where one goes, even the 'hippest', 'contemporary' place around or a stone cathedral steeped in tradition - it can feel prescribed.  This has been me of late.  

That night out in a rocking chair, lifting imperfect voices out over a porch railing, circled together with such a beautiful harmony of faces, I was moved once again.  The organic way of community where it isn't scheduled, outlined with a four-point sermon, or limited - that is where I felt the spark of faith flicker again. 

Friday Four Fill In

We arrive at Friday again!  Seems to roll around faster every week.  Where did this week go?

I'll get right to the Friday Four Fill-In over at Feeling Beachie so if you arrived here for that, you can check it out and be on your way.  If you want to linger, I shall bore enlighten you to the ramblings and details of my life at present.  Whatever floats your boat.

Up first - Friday Four Fill-In:

The statements:

1.  I drink _____ in the AM
2.   I read ____
3. Sometimes I wonder _____ but then _____
4. Given the choice between ____ and ____ I’d pick ____

My answers:

1.  I drink liquid sunshine - elixir of the gods in the AM.

2. I read anything and everything.  Well almost everything.

3.  Sometimes I wonder if it's time to hang up the blog but then I realize I'd miss it.

4.  Given the choice between a summer concert in the park and a spontaneous over-nighter I'd pick BOTH!  

Now what's up (or down!) in my world.  

What's up?  Yesterday, apparently not me - 

Yes, I took a tumble yesterday morning.  I was stepping out onto the front porch and must have decided to try walking on my ankle instead.  Heard the loud pop and everything while I lay there, an injured lamb.  Go ahead and chuckle.  I did, once I scraped myself up and crawled back into the safe confines of my living room.  It's all good.  Spent the day with the foot propped, wrapped and iced.  I am determined to be up and on it today.

(Beware - I just figured out how to upload gifs...)

Hubs is off on a weekend golf trip.  So a lot of this:



I was supposed to head to a lake nearby...but that will be delayed until Monday.  I have one offspring heading off to Kenya and the other is flying home and I must shuttle to the airport so... some of this:



Did you hear about the cracked glass floor of that window box at the Willis Tower?  YIKES!!  I stood in one of those glass boxes, with my heart beating up in my ears!!  That would have freaked me out.

Happy Friday!

What Does It Take?

Today I was running a few work-related errands, taking checks and thank you's to my cooperating teachers.  I happened to time my task 'just right' (unintentionally) so that I arrived at my first elementary school at the dismissal bell.  This is the last week of school for the system.  The electricity and anticipation is palpable in the building.  This time of year for school teachers is always incredibly harried as they finish up all the necessary paperwork, but also the 'lasts' - parties, parent events, field days.  It is exhausting.  I think I may have heard the entire building sigh with the sounding of the bell.

As I was passing through the exit door to leave, rapid little footsteps were gaining on me from behind, and before I knew it, a little blond head whizzed under my arm as I held the door open.  He was lightning with a backpack, flying and giggling down the sidewalk.  Quickly, I glanced behind me to be sure this wasn't a 'runner' - a small subgroup of elementary cherubs that take every opportunity of an open door to mean freedom.  Fortunately, an older girl, mid-teens was also barreling past me, full tilt, and I quickly realized she and the little guy were racing. 

She zipped past him, with quick glances over her shoulder, grinning.  I watched as his little body tightened up and leaned into the forward motion.  I could only imagine that he set his eyes on the back of her red t-shirt like a bull eyeing the matador's cape.  His pace quickened for a few seconds as he pushed to keep up.

About that time, from behind me a voice squawked, "Let 'im beat you!!  Macey, you let him beat you or he will pitch a fit!"

Suddenly, his momentum was broken and he made one last stride before his whole body drooped - arms flopped by his side, feet plodding in a frustrated walk.  He started to call out to her as if he was petrified - screeching for her to stop.  The voice behind him again, "He's gonna pitch a fit now!  You shoulda let him win!", and to that, he turned his more poised expression toward the person making this declaration over him like a mandate, and suddenly, his face and his body and his voice matched the words being spoken into his life.  'She says sister should let me win.  I can't win unless someone makes it happen for me.  My next move is to stand here on this sidewalk before God and all my peers and scream like I've been injured, all because someone didn't let me win.'

No, that wasn't his inner dialogue that I know of, but the imagined voice inside his head if he were to have a voice of reason - particularly one in a female, Southern accent (mine).  This is what his body language spoke, the minute he heard that proclamation, likely said with best intentions.  THIS is a growing problem, in my humble estimation, with the world at large.  This granting of achievement with little to no effort behind it.  I witnessed a demonstration of this very concept right before my eyes:  personal will and drive completely snuffed out at the idea that the 'win' was supposed to be given, not earned.  Not only that, but IF this process isn't carried out correctly, the only response is utter meltdown.  

It has me wondering:  what does it take to develop little people into thinking, caring, big people who will work by the sweat of their brow and persevere through the hard parts (because, let's face it, there are many hard parts in life) to get what they want and hope for to be successful?  

Reading a student's theorist paper today, I may have come upon the answer.  In Jerome Bruner's theory of learning, there are four facets to a child's successfully acquiring knowledge.  One of those is motivation, and it doesn't come from a dangled 'carrot' out in front or an 'easy win' in a game.  His belief about motivation is that only a child's inner motivation can uphold their will to learn.  If you apply this to any aspect of achievement, this could apply to the race I witnessed on the sidewalk.  The boy's mother saying sister should LET him win deflated his will.  Staying out of it and letting him pull up within himself would have created forward momentum not only in his physical race, but in the internal drive of his life.  

Further, in researching this a bit today I came across an online article about this very subject:  Improving Your Child's Motivation.  Several studies had been mentioned, and one psychologist, Robert W. Hill of Appalachian State University "found that when people are trying hard because of their own desire for excellence, this effort can lead to greater satisfaction and mental health. However, if the pressure to perform is coming from others, it’s likely to lead to dissatisfaction and reduced well-being." (Slattengren) 

In light of recent events, and young people feeling entitled and grasping at all the wrong straws for gratification and inner-peace, what will it take to get this message out?  LET children struggle.  In solving their own problems, let them wrestle with the hardship and the dead-ends.  LET CHILDREN HEAR 'NO'.  Allow them to deal with failure and rejection and heartache while in the safe bounds of a parent's care.  

If you want to give your children something, GIVE them a fair fight, a hard race with a close finish.  Maybe you DO let them win...in the very nanosecond of the end, after they have mustered up all of their OWN will and fight and muster to make it to the finish line by the very sweat on their brow and pump of their little arms.  Reaching that finish line is so much more satisfying when you have had to dredge up every cell of your own being to get there.  Let them taste that - the perspiration dripping from their own head to their lips and know, this is good.

1000!!!!!

With as many exclamation points as possible, I've hit 1000!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, these really shouldn't count, but how sweet it will be to see that post counter roll over to four digits.

I know.  I should be disappointed with myself that I am intentionally cheating this goal setting endeavor, but hey - I needed a little humor, and I honestly don't have two worthy thoughts to rub together at the moment.  All the great post ideas I had that I listed days ago are too heavy and much too in-depth to attempt in a rush.

So....I've made it to a 1000!!!  Not truly, but technically speaking.

Happy birthday, blog hammock.  May your ropes be strong and your sway be sweet.  Let's see what more days here bring.

This Has to Stop

Yes, I most decidedly need to stop this nonsense.  These aren't posts.  These say nothing of substance (looking back through the hammock, many of mine don't!).  These are space fillers.  Place holders for the real posts that should have been crafted carefully, with much thought, over many days in order to adequately give this its due diligence.  This really shouldn't count.  If I were a blog police, I'd issue a ticket.  Or a fine. Or something.  Demand public apology.  Really, I need to quit it.  

Or I Could Be Funny

I could be a wise crack and blow up your blog feed with new post after new post, only to find out they are the equivalent to the directions on the back of a box of detergent.  Seriously, I could be sneaky like that.  Would that be right?

What say you?

The World Continues to Turn

Well, I don't think I'm going to make it to 1000 tonight.  Not with anything worthy anyway.  It is late.  I got side-tracked about fourteen times today.  Plans that I thought I had made, were changed.  Life goes on.  Posts get posted.  Blogs remain bloggy.  I believe that I am going to just cash in my chips, for tomorrow is another day.

FIVE MORE POSTS!!

(Squeeeee!)  I have five more posts!

Still no picture of my Moroccan Carrot Salad - still transmitting somewhere up through the webosphere....much like the process in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.....  anyhoo.

So it is nearly 5:00.  It's 5 PM somewhere.  WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BEACH/TROPICAL SONG???????

What makes you feel relaxed and ready for sand, sun and surf??  There are many for me but this one has gone the distance in my walks along the frothy shores on various continents:



Santana just does it for me in the summer.  Really.

Monday Listicles

Monday Listicles has been a fairly regular post here in the last year or so.  I have LOVED being a part of it.  This week's topic - one I do not have a great repertoire of material - TV VIEWING.

This week's topic:

10 THINGS THAT ARE ON TV WHEN I AM IN CHARGE OF THE REMOTE CONTROL

Since I don't watch much TV, this one's a stretch but here goes:

1.  The Office - because my son often has it on (okay, he might have the remote, but there are VERY few opportunities that I might pick up my remote, voluntarily, so there's that.)

2.  Reruns of Frasier.  Favorite show of late.  LOVE LOVE Frasier.

3.  Seinfeld - again because Eldest watches this on a regular basis.

4.  Documentaries.  LOVE documentaries.  

5.  24 - we can't get enough of Jack in our house so we were BESIDE OURSELVES with the new season.  Jack and Chloe.  Back again.

6.  Crisis - very cool new show.

7.  The Blacklist - also a very cool show.  James Spader - heartthrob from the 80's making a decided comeback in this show.

8.  Survivor - one family member is INFATUATED with this show.  Has applied to be ON the show.  

9.  News - I switch between all the major media outlets - it can be maddening, but so eye-opening as well.

10.  Reflections - this is a show that basically records beautiful landscapes with instrumentals and Bible verse - peaceful way to start the day.

Most of what is listed here is really directed by the choices of others.  I don't watch much tv.  I can be found curled up in a corner with a book instead.

My ONE Political Post-short and sweet

Okay - here's the thing:  it isn't that I am uninterested in politics but much of it confounds me to the point of speechless flabbergastedness that I mostly just keep my lip zipped and fly invisible through all the posts and articles and 'declarations' until I just can't remain quiet anymore.  This is one of those times.  Note it down:  it likely won't happen again any time soon.  My ONE WORD OF SOUND ADVICE so hold tight.  Here goes:

Please.  For the love of all things sacred and smart, RESEARCH, PEOPLE.  Know who you are voting for and WHY.  Seriously, check out multiple sources, not just your usual, 'go to'.  Listen to what their critics have to say - contrary to what the media would have you to believe, there might just be golden nuggets of truth in what they have to say.  Find out what they have DONE.  Good, bad and warrants for arrest - find it all out - as much as you can.  No really.  Take any and all viable candidates and get off Twitter vine snapchat long enough take the time to read up on their accomplishments, their stance, their 'history' in whatever field or position they have held.  

Please - (now I am begging) for the love of all things sound and reasonable and (duh!) COMMON SENSE vote with your BRAIN, not your eyes!!!

Case in point:



This.    Seriously, folks.  COME ON.  "I like...love _____________ because she's like, a woman."  Oh dear Lord.  THIS is our up and coming voting population.  Don't take the time to learn where this or that candidate is on issues and important legislation, but dadgum, 'She's a woman! Let's vote for her!"  

Let's get this straight - I would love to see a female President just as much as the next person.  Maybe more.  But here's the thing - at the end of the day, I really don't care if you are a woman, man, unicorn, white, black, purple polka-dotted alien from the planet Nibiru - just lead effectively at home and abroad.  Be strong.  Stand for FREEDOM of ALL PEOPLE, BORN OR UNBORN.  Uphold the Constitution.  Remember that thing?  That document that set this nation apart from any other in its liberties and why millions have flocked here - to have a taste of it.  Be fair - honest, truthful in all that you do.  VALUE a place where WE THE PEOPLE decide how to live. 

While we're at it, PET PEEVE embedded within this short video - generalities.  I grade COUNTLESS papers that say things like, 'I have learned various methods that have taught me how to differentiate' or 'There are so many ways in which this strategy helps learners' and then doesn't go further to explain what methods are great or how, specifically, the strategy helps learners.  A statement that is becoming my motto is: 'Just stating it DOES NOT MAKE IT SO'.  

In the video, right around 2:08:

'There's been so much.  Just the fact that she's been such...a world leader?  (that current trend to make everything sound like a question)  and recognized all over for doing so many great things, like, I don't even know that I can pick a single accomplishment.' 

BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW OF A SINGLE ACCOMPLISHMENT!!!  SAYING THERE ARE MANY DOES MEAN THAT IS TRUE, BUT BECAUSE YOU HAVE VERBALIZED SO 'ASTUTELY' PEOPLE GO - 'YEAH, YEAH....WHAT SHE SAID'.

SMH.

Research. Learn.  Dig deep before you vote, people.

See, I am not asking you to espouse to my views, or back my favorite candidate (I don't have one).  I am just asking you to READ.  That is all.

IT WAS the AMERICAN WAY.

Addendum:  Just as sure as I hit 'send' I realized that someone somewhere might falsely believe that I am taking a negative slant on the particular person of interest as topic in the video.  Nope.  Not at all.  Just so happens that, well, according to some, she's the shoo -in for the job.  Not saying either way.  Just saying - read up on WHOEVER tosses their hat into the ring.  That is all.

End of political ANYTHING .

Best Laid Plans

Well, I am about an hour past when I wanted to post again.  Several obstacles kept me from getting home to continue my posts, AND the in-laws are coming in about an hour.  I'm determined, folks.  They are staying the night but they do go to bed early so....

An update on what I have been doing today - to go along with the pursuit of clean eating, comes clean preparation, including lots of chopping/shredding.  I took the plunge and got a food processor and spent the last hour figuring out HOW IN THE WORLD to assemble tha' thing.

Three bandaids and a Moroccan Carrot Salad later, I think I've got it.  Picture is coming......new phones send photos VEEEEERRRRRY SLOWLY.  They are the Polaroid of phone cameras.  Shake vigorously and flap until image appears and all that.

Ta-da!

UPDATE:  in-laws got a late start...I might have an hour and a half.  So I might just slam the next hour and a half with a few mini-posts to cram them in - stand by.

Speaking of plans - I still have plans for a short solo excursion of sorts to meander up to see my bff from college.  She's in Missouri (Funny, I need to find out exactly where she is - all I know is, Missouri) and my plan is to saunter over to 'Bama, up through the middle of Arkansas to take in some of its natural beauty and on up to MO.  Depending on the time I have, I would LOVE to head down to see my TX family again.  Who knows?

I seriously need adventure.  BIG TIME.  Take two spoons of spontaneity daily and call me in the morning, its that bad.  So we'll see.  Travel posts!  Whoo hoo!

Today

Today is the official day, five years ago, that I began this journey of having an official blog.  Five years.  A lot of water goes under a bridge in that amount of time.  Many changes, both outward and inward.

I had planned to accomplish 1000 posts by today, and I am nine short - but I am not going to give up the hope that I can reach this goal.  This day might be spent compiling many mini-posts, but I will get there.  Starting with this post - one down, eight to go.

I thought I would shed some light throughout the day of how I am spending this day, along with the focused topics that I highlight with each post.  That might be interesting (to who, I have no idea...) - a timeline of my day, until midnight.

So what am I doing now?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am on the patio of a local eating establishment where Best Girl works.  She is finishing her last week of work before she heads to Kenya, and before she starts an internship as a youth leader.  I came today to find a different view, a new spot to write and plan.  Just so happens they have free wifi.  (bonus)

It is still mid-morning and the breeze is cool, a blend of early spring air mixed with 'here comes summer' heat.  Not a cloud in the sky.  The eating establishment has been quite empty since it is a holiday - Memorial Day, and most people are off work, sleeping in, planning cookouts or trips to the river.  Today is more than that - more than a good burger and a cooler at the lake:  it is a day that we remember the great sacrifices made my few for us all to remain free.  May they continue to do so, and feel honored and valued by us all, I pray.

Along with scattering posts throughout the day, I am on a mission to research the autoimmune paleo eating plan.  I have been primarily paleo for a couple of years, but this takes it up a notch, to a more strict regime (at least initially) to heal the body and actually reverse the impact of autoimmune issues on the body.  Now that I have time to focus on other things, this is going to have my attention as I continue on my path back to complete wellness.

So that is what I am doing at the moment.  How are you spending your day?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For this post, I thought I would list a few of the things that were different five years ago, or things that have happened within the last five years, and then also highlight some of the posts from the five years that were either "popular" (using that term loosely since there were probably two whole readers) or my personal favorites.  So first, the list of things that have changed and/or happened in the last five years:

1.  In 2009, I still had two children in school.  I had a sophomore in high school and an eighth grader.
     Wow.

2.  In the fall of 2009, I was beginning again in the classroom, which would end up being my last two
     years in the school system.

3.  In October of 2009, I did something I never thought I would do - skydive.  I went with my Dad for
     his 60th birthday with my brother.  You can check it out here:



Dad's video:


4.  2009 was the summer I took my solo road trip - July 18th was the day I left.

Within the last five years:

1.  I have graduated two children.

2.  Changed jobs to working in higher ed.

3.  Sent two children around the world on various missions in approximately over half a dozen
     countries.

4.  Been through quite a journey of health issues, heart being one of them, but all is well.

Now for some 'highlights from the blog:

1.  Inaugural post This Place

2.  Human Nature in a Pencil Cup

3.  Proof - I took this one down for a while.  It felt too self-focused, and I am not about that.  It also
    seemed to get a bit of traffic, which started to creep me out so.....Here it is, for a limited time.

4.  Fullness and Light - any and all posts from Nicaragua...I long to return again.

5.  More Alive - another Nicaragua post...

6.  In the Way that They Should Go - one of my favorites...my two children, together, friends.  Best
    Girl was Eldest's senior picture photographer.

7.  Refiner's Fire - a post briefing one of the internal changes that have occurred.

8.  Allow Me to Paint You a Picture - my observations of this culture

9.  To Beckon - a post about my blog's namesake

10.  From Kings and Scoundrels, the Art of Letting Go - a more eloquent post about Letting Go

11.  Running Down a Dream - a post about my annual Peachtree run - doing it again this July, ready or
      not.

12.  http://hammockinthehoneysuckle.blogspot.com/2011/07/blog-post.html This one had nearly 500 views.  It had been shared on a more popular blogger's post about depression.  This is my story.

13.  Gonna Make You Sweat - enjoyed writing this post about my trip to a Korean spa.  Plan to go sweat again this summer.

14.  Why God Gave Memories and Photographs - weird, I know, but I liked this post about my distain for funerals.

15.  A Day for Reflecting - words of wisdom on turning 40.

16.  I Will Be An Inner Pin-Up-Girl

17.  All the Reasons to Love

18.  Lost Art of Consideration

19.  Glamping is for Wienies - this was a popular post.  Not sure why, except maybe Russia had something to do with it...

20.  Kiss on my List - a Listicles about kisses.  It contains a post about my first kiss - This Just Got Juicy

Whew.  That took longer than I thought.  Getting eight more posts in today seems daunting.  I will try.

2012 seemed a good year, overall for this blog.  More actual posts (not just songs) and far more traffic.

Onward and upward.

Trust

At the end of this semester, we usually have a three-to-four hour faculty meeting.  A meeting that can, quite honestly, be accomplished in one.  In case you haven't picked up on this, meetings are NOT on my 'faves' list.  One nugget from my reading of 'Quiet' by Susan Cain (the book about introversion) is the affirmation of this collective understanding.  Jason Fried, cofounder of a web application company, 37signals, does not mandate his sixteen employees to report to the office, including for meetings.  He views meetings as 'toxic', and I couldn't agree more.

Imagine my utter delight when I learned that, in lieu of a meeting, we were going to have time as a faculty on our campus's new low ropes course (similar to the picture).  I wasn't quite sure how keen I was on the 'togetherness' aspect of the activity, but I was gung ho about the idea of trying out the challenges on the course.  

Pumped, until I was put in a group task to determine collective trust in others.

It was an interesting exercise in self-examination - and it was quite telling.

The task:  two teams were divided and stationed together on each of their small, wooden platforms.  Each team had to first work to retrieve the rope dangling a distance in between the two teams, using only our bodies, teamwork and a pool noodle.  We then, had to launch ourselves and each team member on the rope to the other team's platform.  This meant relying on team members to get the job done.

My team decided that I needed to go first in the attempts to nab the rope - I was the youngest and smallest on the team.  I would be the first to be launched out over the 'chasm' to bring the rope to our team.  The largest man on our team would be my 'anchor' and hold me stretched out to get the rope.

Mentally, I knew he would not have any trouble hanging onto me without dropping me into the 'divide' between.  He was more than adequately equipped with strength and size to keep me 'safe' and stable as I perched on the edge of our platform.

He held on with all his might, and yet, even as I reached and stretched with all my might, determined to loop the rope and slowly, slowly bring it toward us, my body decided on its own plan.  While my mind said I was perfectly fine, my body could not let loose, and throw myself completely into that trust of his hold on me.  While I reached, my body pushed hard backward, pressing into my anchor, and the safety I thought I knew on the platform.  I couldn't seem to completely toss myself with complete trust.

While I did manage to pull the rope toward our team twice, my limited reach allowed it to slip, swinging back over to the other team.  My arm tired, my resolve flustered, I handed off the task to the next team member.  I watched, as he held onto the arm of the same guy that was my anchor, and hurled himself all the way out over the divide to pull the rope securely to our side.

After this activity, there was a 'group debrief' to take away the larger understandings of the task.  It brought further thought to my own capacity to trust and raised some questions:

• Do I have difficulty in trusting others?
• Is it more so that I do not trust myself where others are concerned?
• Was this just an outward demonstration of my usual independence?
• Might this have just been a simple effort to avoid a face plant on the hard ground?

It provided more questions than answers, which I love.

It was an intriguing experience.  I highly recommend it.  Find out just how much you trust - yourself and others.

Friday Four Fill In

I know.  It is no longer Friday.  S'ok.  I am going to jump in late and do it anyway.  Cruise on over to Feeling Beachie if you want to play along.

The statements:

1.  ___________gives_____________________
2.   I heard _____________ prevents _____________
3. I wish ______________
4. My ____ color is _____ it make me feel _____

My answers:

1.     End of semesters give me relief that I can focus on other things for a while.

2.  I heard many things prevent aging but seriously, it's going to happen anyway.

3.  I wish I would hear from my high school bff.

4.  My "signature" color is turquoise because it makes me feel confident.

Long Overdue Fridge Poetry

This is long overdue, but perfect for the Friday of my blog BDAY.  I am terribly behind in getting caught up on posts.  I've been busy living life.  All is well.

haiku time

Dinner beside a flame?  Dinner a la' flame?  Flame as an accompanying guest?  I do not know.  I had to make the haiku work.  Go with it, here.

Song Posts

Haven't I infused music throughout this blog's inception?  It is only fitting to post a song tonight.   I can not help it - music is just what does it for me.  Especially when I come across new songs and new artists that make me stop and stare, so to speak.

This.



                                                                     "Feels Like Rain"

Down here the river meets the sea
And in the sticky heat I feel ya' open up to me
Love comes out of nowhere baby, like a hurricane
And it feels like rain

Underneath the stars lying next to you
Wondering who you are baby
How do you do?
When the clouds blow in across the moon
And the wind howls out your name
Feels like rain

We'll never make that bridge tonight
Across lake Ponchartrain
Feel like rain

Batten down the hatches
But keep your heart out on your sleeve
A little bit of stormy weather, that's no cause for us to leave
Just stay here baby, in my arms
Let it wash away the pain
Feels like rain

Bring that summer rain.  Especially if I can play this song in the midst.  Perfect. 

 (14 posts to go) 

The Junk Drawer that is On The HIT List

Y'all, I just calculated that I need to do 2. 4 posts a day between now and next Monday to complete my 1000-post mark by my blog's birthday.  What constitutes as a .4 post?  I am going to have to step up, double-time, to accomplish this task.  It has been a whirlwind week, and while I wish I was standing on the corner of 'blissful summer days' and 'no agenda', this week is very much full-tilt for me yet.  I can't declare 'DONE'.  In fact, I am leading some training tomorrow, all day...and what am I doing?  Blogging.  What would I rather be doing?  Yep.  You guessed it.

I felt it was due time for a Junk Drawer post.  You have no idea the junk drawers, and junk closets, junk bonus rooms and junk closets that are overfloweth with, well...junk.  Since it is my blog's anniblogirthday, I feel the need to commemorate some of its features - namely this, my Junk Drawer posts.  Here are the archived posts (from most recent to oldest):

http://hammockinthehoneysuckle.blogspot.com/2014/03/sand-in-junk-drawer.html

http://hammockinthehoneysuckle.blogspot.com/2014/01/new-year-new-drawer.html

http://hammockinthehoneysuckle.blogspot.com/2013/12/upending-junk-drawer.html

http://hammockinthehoneysuckle.blogspot.com/2013/09/rearranging-junk-drawer.html

http://hammockinthehoneysuckle.blogspot.com/2013/08/so-where-were-we-junk-drawer.html

http://hammockinthehoneysuckle.blogspot.com/2013/06/lets-not-talk-about-junk-drawers.html

http://hammockinthehoneysuckle.blogspot.com/2013/04/alphabet-soup-junk-drawer-of-my-mind.html

http://hammockinthehoneysuckle.blogspot.com/2012/11/updates-from-junk-drawer.html

http://hammockinthehoneysuckle.blogspot.com/2012/09/from-junk-drawer-of-my-mind.html


There they all are.  Peruse (or not) at your leisure.

What does a junk drawer look like, at the cusp of summer, when it is in desperate need of a clean out? Here is what is packed in my pre-summer drawer:

Eldest is home.  This is the first installment of 'Offspring is home from college'.  Please ignore the sprinkled leftover fall dead leaves in my garage.  Take note of the pile of 'shtuff' in the middle of the mess.  That pile, one of three.  Complete with a friend's drum set - to 'store' for safe keeping, until next semester.  (Mom is secretly grinning in anticipation of the pulse of rhythm that will once again, ripple through my wood floors while he's home as soon as he sets that bad boy up in the basement.)

Which brings me to a small mini-segment on being a parent on the edge of the nest - both parties adjust to life sans other being, and then have to abruptly RE-adjust to life with beings back under one roof.  I still need that post on advice for those in this phase of life.  It is chock full, I tell ya.

I know.  You've always wondered what one hammock-dwelling blog gal looks like in a penguin suit.  Here t'is.  Who decided that THAT hat would represent all sound reason and wide perspective and thought?  We took the kids to a local pizza place to celebrate the new challenges ahead, and I, to be humorous, put the leftover pizza box on my head, and said, 'I hear by, represent all wisdom and academic breadth - I think I shall don this virtue with a plank of cardboard on my brow.'  

This precious creature was struggling on my sidewalk the other night.  I didn't want it to get stepped on so I brought him into the house, and watched as he struggled, and I felt the struggle - beating wings that aren't going anywhere, and I felt connected to this lunamoth.  He went in circles, around and around, flapping furiously, and feverishly, going nowhere.  I know, wise moth, I know.  I set him loose in my backyard.  

Some days it just takes a SUPERcup to get through the day.

Last night I had a house-full.  27 eighteen-to-twenty-somethings.  This was my front yard, not counting the three cars UP the hill and the couple or so in my driveway.  One of two of these cars contained five or more bodies.  Said bodies filed into my house yesterday evening, not without getting a hug from me as they passed through my doorway.  

Their meeting in my living room restored my hope in this generation.  It restored HOPE in me.  It breathed life into my very deflated faith, of late.  This group brought my heart to its knees.

I could post more pictures, but they are only screen shots of a webinar I had to 'attend' today.  That is nothing to write home about.

What IS worthy of handwritten-home stamped mail is that after this week, I DO think I will be mostly free.  I have a trip upcoming that I am really excited about - a trip to a lake.  I might end up there by my lonesome at first because I booked it almost a year in advance, and no one in my familia will be around to go, at least initially.  I think that I will have at least three days where it will be just me, alone with my thoughts.  The introvert says 'yippee!'

I also have a tentative plan to traverse up to see a dear, close friend of mine, now up in Missouri.  My plan is to meander up, take my time, take in some of what a few other states have to offer along the way up there.  I can't wait.   

So here is the Birthday Blog version of my Junk Drawer feature.  Glad you came by.  Come again when you can stay longer!

  

Words for Mom Listicles

This week's Monday Listicles is a topic that might seem out of sync with the calendar - it is a post about what we want to say to our Mothers.  Yes, Mother's Day has come and gone, but I am of the personal belief that all things happen for a reason, including timely delays.  This may be a reminder to us all that we shouldn't wait until an official holiday rolls around to say what we need to say to the people in our lives, including our Moms.  Regardless of our relationship with them, complex and baffling as they might be, we can always learn something from this most formative bond in our lives.

I have written about my Mom a few of times, and you can revisit those posts here:  Red Letter Day, Zipline Past Your Comfort Zone and Lost Art of Consideration.

Now I offer Ten Thoughts to My Mom:

1.  I know that you will be grateful for this admission but I KNOW now how you felt  and still feel when I take long trips by myself.  I now have a gypsy wanderer for a daughter, and I get it.

2.  To continue from #1's concept, while I do feel the same unease at her ideas for traveling solo (recent mention of a drive to Pennsylvania to see a friend), I also try to allow room for her to do these things, without guilt,  and not fear.

2a.  As an addendum to the above two points, I believe that I will continue to travel solo, as long as my will and heart exist, and my eyes can see the road ahead of me.  

3.  Mom, I love you, but you have got to stop talking so much about your funeral and 'those' plans.  I understand - you want me, as the eldest, to know and be prepared, AND being an administrative person all your life, you are the quintessential organizer/arranger/planner.  Tell you what, write it all down and make it a neat and tidy spreadsheet with all the directions I will ever need, and give me a copy.  How about if we concentrate on living and talk about all that, shall we?

4.  I still have the rebuttal email archived in my drafts box from your lengthy and condemning email in response to my road trip in '09.  I think that we ended up talking about it, and working through it, but some of those same points could still be relevant today.  

5.  I so wish that I could encourage you to step out and connect with some folks in your stage of life to interact with and enjoy their company.  I do worry some times that you're isolating yourself too much.  

6.  I will always and forever be grateful for the immense wealth of common sense you have bestowed on me over the years.  Common sense is in short supply today.  I can be glad I have an abundance, thanks to you.

7.  You truly crack me up - and it's one of the zillion reasons I love you.  Case in point:  Your regular side comments about "people" being on Facebook so much/all the time, etc., and to that I ask, "Even though you hijack Dad's Facebook regularly and comment about things you see on this or that person's Facebook, how do you know people are on Facebook all the time, if you're not on it...all the time?"  You are funny, Mom.  This makes me laugh!  

8.  I loved our mountain get-away a couple of years ago.  I always love it when you share the 'real' side of you - the dreams you had, the experiences you went through, the life you had outside of being my Mom.  You don't know this, but we will go again, this summer.  Just wait.

9.  Again, I love you, but Mom, let Dad be Dad, and do what he loves.  Love what he loves, Mom.  Love it because he loves it.

10.  Know that so much of who I am is because of you - your shaping my childhood, being the example of a working mother, showing me what it is to be a woman with a bottomless well of dreams, loves, wishes and experiences.

To Mom - I love you.

Friday Four Fill-In

It's Friday!  Time for Friday Four Fill-in over at Feeling Beachie.

The statements:

The statements:

1. I wish the ____________ would always stay ____
2.  You’ll need_____ of ____ when you _______ my ____
3. If I go to a restaurant it must have____-
4. My must have holiday baking treat is ____

My answers:

1. I wish the kitchen would always stay clean.
2.  You’ll need an abundance of books and beverage when you sway in my hammock.
3. If I go to a restaurant it must have great atmosphere.
4. My must have holiday baking treat is no-bake cookies.  

Cheat Post

Okay, I promise I won't 'count' this one toward the goal of reaching 1000 posts by my blog birthday.  It is, in many ways, a filler post.  It is really more of a dialogue - or monologue since you aren't really here with me, present in my living room under the dim light of my one lamp while a terribly glorious storm rages on outside my window.  Oh, but if you were here...couldn't we talk a blue streak?  Interesting to use such a phrase on such a night as this, really.  The etymology of that phrase points to around the early 18th century and could derive its meaning from the idea of the velocity and force of a bolt of lightning.  Such lightning is flashing wild outside my window this very minute.  I truly love nights like this.  I find it interesting too, that from this view, the lightning seems 'safe' and 'contained' within my window frame.  How much of our life and our world do we perceive this way, from the secure bounds of our lives barely lived?

This post is a rambling.  More of a marker for posts to come.  It could be a junk drawer post of sorts but I don't have time for junk drawers.  Not yet.  I have one more day of marathon grading tomorrow, and come Hades fire or high water (that might actually be in progress), I aim to get that knocked.out.  I may have to chain myself to my work laptop and drag it around all day like a ball and chain but I will get it done.  I also have to run around in the a.m. in my suit and heels in one of my many roles - Field Placement Director extraordinaire smoozing and handing out placement request forms with a smile!  I might be a drowned rat in this endeavor but with a smile, nonetheless.

I have tucked away the few suggestions I have received about what you might like to see read here in the hammock for the blog month party and am truly building (in my head) a great list of some things I want to put here to finish strong.  Okay, maybe not finish in the sense of finis hammock blog no more, but you know what I mean.  I have much to say.  Some of it I hold back, and I still, for the life of me, can not figure out why.  Maybe it is my true introvert nature surfacing, holding on to that unassailable part of me that keeps me from 'putting it all out there'.  I suppose it could be that. 

Speaking of introversion, I just started the book Quiet.  If my recent track record is any indication (I am tearing through books like I am starved for words and phrases and meaning), I can have a nice book review on that before the blog birthday 1000 post mark.  I am loving it already.  It is just starting to talk about living in a world that values the Extrovert Ideal.  How so much of this rings true.  I can't wait to read it in its entirety.  

Other post topic possibilities that are floating near the surface:

• What I know now in my 40's
• The boomerang stage of parenting
• The current state of education/higher ed - I know - talking shop.  You can skip that one if it is boring.
• faith that is flatlined
• miracles
• the next 'election' - okay, I rarely get political here...I like it better that way, but seriously.  I have something to say.  
• Is patriarchy obsolete?
• memories from my growing up years

Okay, they may not all happen before May 26th (yikes!) but those are posts I hope to get to soon.

The rain continues to pummel the shingles above.  I think I am going to close the laptop, shut off all light and just sit in the stillness and raging both.  It is far too precious a gift to let slip by.

My song

Recently, I came across a piece written over at one of my fave blogger's place, think.stew, that has had me mulling on it ever since.  dbs wrote the most beautiful piece about his Mom - her name was Carol, and that means song.  He then proceeded to write her 'song'.  Actually, no.  A more accurate description would be that he put the 'lyrics' to her song, already well-lived, well-sung - strokes of genius and beauty were already orchestrated - he lovingly put words to her composition.  The hand of a lyricist who knew her well put written meaning to her melody.

What a resplendent idea.

After reading his loving tribute to his Mom, I thought I might begin penning my own thoughts for mine in time for Mother's Day...then realized Mother's Day was last weekend.  Too late for that occasion.  I will - perhaps a version for my Mom and my Dad each, before their anniversary (July 5).  

So yesterday I still couldn't shake that idea of us all having 'a song', or possibly even a top 40 compilation that would be the anthem for our existence.  I tried it out on myself - scribbling words and scratching out words as I put down what I thought might be the melody of me.  All this while I stretched out in the welcome sun of summer come early on my back deck.  Here's the rough draft:

Quiet strains of contemplation 

to the rhythm of crisp pages turning;

sun's heat penetrating

to the harmony of summer sweat, Coppertone and Santana.

A strumming base of pounding waves

and the slight refrain of distant seagulls.

The chant of 'grace and hope'-

resounding over and over through it all.

Brassy crash of complexity, contradictions

and conflict,

melded with melodies of the simplicity of wonder

at a moth's wing, scientific discoveries,

a new revelation.  

Concertino of calm, blueberries, 

a run in the rain, worship,

solitude and deep longing - 

Always and ever longing.

Sky sonnets filled with half moons, satellites, sunsets, sunrises and stars.

Scores of words, wishes and whispered

sacred prayers.

To serenade me -

always

with the creak of a hammock, footfalls on sand,

fireworks and fireflies.

Going Into the Closet Listicles

It's Monday Listicles time again.  Yes, it is Tuesday, I realize.  It's all good.

This week's topic:  Ten Things I Must Have in My Closet.

At this moment I really should be hauling lots and lots of junk OUT of my closet.  It really is a wreck.  It is on THE list of things that will be attacked with a vengeance this summer.  There's no telling what I will find in there.  Maybe I should report on that with a post.  

However I do know there are some staples in there, that I must have in my closet.  Here are ten of them:

1.  My Chuck Taylors

2.  Turquoise Jewelry

3.  soft blue jeans

4.  super-soft v-neck tees

5.  my button down professional shirts and gray suits

6.  red satin robe/ longer bohemian silk robe

7.  sundresses

8.  black patten heels

9.  little black dress

10.  beach bag, always packed and ready