Moments and wonder

Writing

Letters.  Handwritten.   

Reading

Right this moment, something anticipated, treasured.

Listening
During the deluge of rain, yeeeeessssssss

Watching

Sheepish confession:  I binged Big Bang Theory last night between hard crashes.  This whole weekend has been consumed with weddings and being on my feet running around constant for 10+ hours at a time.  I indulged and I crashed both.  Not sorry.  

Thinking

Holding words is almost sacred.  This realization has hit me, and makes me look forward to reading even more.  Grasping someone else's thoughts, in print and in hand, is incredibly hallowed, cherished. Intimate.

 Wanting

Currently to attend a concert - something a bit wild, maybe in the rain, where 2,000 of your closest friends dance under the lights and the falling torrent.  To sing, in unison with them, to link arms with your fellow revelers and belt out the lyrics known by heart, soul and life.  {Googles concerts}  Need to make this happen.

Needing

*sigh

Looking Forward To

Walking the beach in the rain (rain theme here, in case you haven't noticed).

Wearing

Tee and linen shorts

Eating

Haven't much today. Nothing now.  Not interested.

Drinking

Bubly concoction.  Tried it?  Bubly, that is?  

Quote of the Week

"Just as in earthly life
lovers long for the moment
when they are able to breathe forth
their love for each other,
to let their souls whisper in a soft blend
so the mystic longs for the moment
when, in prayer, he can,
as it were,
creep into God."
Soren Kierkegaard

Light and Language

This isn't my usual 'slacker' post of the questions with my short answers.  I can't promise that it will be lengthy or important or even worth your time.  I just know that I am standing on the very edge of a new chapter, and I can see that luminescent glow of possibility barely cresting nearer.  I have exactly eight days to fulfill my obligations, and then another two weeks to be 'available' for end-of-semester wrap up/data, etc. I am still dumbfounded to be in this place in time.  I've contained my feelings, for the most part, and the rest of the time, I am just trying to finish the next thing, and the next thing and the next.  Yet, the vibrations draw closer - that of steadiness, and a calmness about each day that resonates sacred in its SINGULARITY.

Update (5/15) I have completed my FINAL final.  And I stood in that empty classroom and wept.

I did.

A surprise to my own self.  I stood there staring out into a room where my words had often filtered over the abyss and settled where they may.  And it was an empty space.

Was my impact an empty space?  I may never know.

I walked - my last trek from one building across campus to my (temporary) office.  It was a bittersweet one.

It is funny - endings.

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." Semisonic

Sometimes they are met with such fanfare and pomp, that one's own heart could get lost in all the words and well-wishes and confetti.  

And then other times - 

it is quiet.

Personal.  Just the person and the ending space and time,  locking eyes one last time and to finally slip out into the rest of what's left of time on this planet.  

It is weird.  As I have cleaned out notebooks and binders upon binders and POUNDS of notes and work and bloodsweattears - 

I realize - no one saw.  Does it matter if that research and those pages of notes were penned at the wee hours of everyone else's dreaming hours, and I delivered the lesson(s) to impatient:bored:restless:eager:waiting charges?

Does it matter?  Does any of it matter?

I came to realize long ago that people ARE replaceable.  Just when you think that you will hold residence in a place and time and fond memories and accolades of the masses, really - your space will be purged, cleaned out, re-arranged and moved.  Your name plate will be taken down and a new one will be placed, and time marches on.  Some may mention you with fondness for about a year beyond your time at a particular place, but then those that follow will say, "Who?", when your name is uttered.  

We can't think for a second that we were more than we were, in any given moment.  Moments pass.  

On the day (maybe it was 2014 or so?) that I was 'granted' "Professor of Impact' for the campus, I was actually at another meeting, fulfilling the mundane obligations that often followed me to 'show up' and be present out in the larger scope of the systems.  A plaque was presented  - I never saw it.  A 'gift' was given. I never got it.  

For that one passage of time, my "star" shined for the select few in the room.

Beyond that - I was just me.  

Always me.  For what that is worth.

At the end of the day.

Or a career.

Or a lifetime.

Sunday Somethings

Writing

We've discussed this.   

Reading

What I WANT to read - The Turquoise Table.  I think it will be a game changer. 

Listening

I am WOUND UP....

Watching

Nothing.  Who has time for this???

Thinking

I need words. 

 Wanting

Oh my.  Um.  

Needing

An extra week.  A do-over. 

Looking Forward To

37 days.

Wearing

Black tank. Orange running shorts.

Eating

...

Drinking

Water.

Quote of the Week

"Nothing is as important as passion. 

No matter what you want to do with your life, 

be passionate." ~ Jon Bon Jovi

Yes, Jon.  Yes.