'Just adding my two cents in'
'If you ask me...' (I didn't, but okay)
It seems everywhere you turn, SOMEONE is voicing their thoughts, opinions, arguments, stance, etc. There are those responding to those thoughts shared with their own thoughts, opinions, arguments, stance ad nauseam.
Someone posted today, 'social media' is neither 'social' nor 'media'. I might concur.
Where did this all start? When will it ever end?
This brings to mind lyrics of a popular song during a tumultuous time:
'There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong'
A song, nearly FIFTY years old, and more relevant today than ever.
A verbal battle - EVERYWHERE, about EVERYTHING.
I am going to use my particular topic and incident as an example. You could look at it as my voicing my thoughts (and I guess I am) but honestly, up until now, I haven't voiced them "publicly" to set a precedence or draw any line in sand. I have kept my thoughts to myself. (Imagine that!)
Until a couple of weeks ago, but it was only in response to someone 'imposing' their own views on me.
Thank the Lord, no. It wasn't political. Seriously. That is now a side show. A carnival act. The laughing stock of the world, but I digress. No. I tread nowhere NEAR that territory. I have more to do with my time and energy.
No - the topic at hand: the "perfect" age to get married.
EVERYONE has an opinion. And it's right. Based on their own experiences. Based on 'statistics'.
Based on what "they" say.
Here's my Willy Wonka meme, fresh, hot off the press...just for you:
I have kept most of my personal life on the DL these days. I don't post much of anything of significance anywhere. My drive to remain a more private individual has trumped and won over the 'show everything about my every waking moment' culture. But most know that very soon, my daughter is getting married. In fact, I posted about it, generically, here: So This Just Happened.,
Otherwise, I have remained quiet, behind the scenes, minding my own business and the second full-time job of wedding planner (of which I LOOOOVE).
Most folks are genuinely happy and excited about the upcoming event. Those that know them KNOW they have their heads on straight and their feet grounded on the One that gives life and purpose. Those closest to us, and in their circles are rallying. This is the age and stage we and they are entering. Case in point: between Best Girl and I, there are EIGHT weddings to respond to, attend, RSVP, etc. between now and July. Not counting all the kitchen/bridal/couples/lingerie/cookout/shower-celebrations also included in said season.
Not kidding. I bought pearly white wrapping paper - in BULK.
There are those that don't come right out and say what they are thinking, and thankfully those are few however... their body language, face and words convey a message not so supportive, and it begs the question: why?
Even fewer do like the colleague (of whom I RARELY SEE OR CONVERSE WITH...) did to me recently on the phone. Called with the 'guise' to ask about an event our department was putting on that he was RSVP'ing for, then went in to talk about my daughter in his class (hello? FERPA, anyone?) and then said:
'So it came up the other day that she said she was getting married. I'm speaking as a Dad now - are you okay with this? She's how old? Are you sure because the number of divorces....(drone on, blah, blah, blah)
ME: (Really? Did he REALLY just say that?)
I know quite a few forty-year-olds that don't have a CLUE how to navigate the terrain of matrimony.
AGE isn't a determining factor.
A recent lunch date with a colleague gave me the best words that sum up when 'ready' is 'ready':
'Faith and commitment sum up when it's right.'
Not a college degree.
Not a lump sum in the bank.
Not having it all figured out.
I have multiple degrees.
I can pay the bills. On my own, if I had to.
I STILL don't have it figured out.
Twen-ty-five years later.
How about wishing them well? Offering them some sage advice for when it's hard (trust me - it IS hard)? Praying for the mama sending her Best Girl into her own 'Unknown'?
Seriously. There IS no magic age, formula, aligning of the cosmos.
There's grit, and commitment. Faith and fear. Tears and determination. A light unto their path. Mystery. Passion and grace, sweet grace.
Cheers.
