It is great when we can begin to understand ourselves better and seek to operate more in the way we are made. It wasn't until a few years ago that I really came to know myself beyond others' perceptions and my tendency toward people-pleasing. One aspect of my personality that has been with me since I can remember is the need for space. This is indicative of one more prone to introversion. In short, people wear me out. When the reserves run low, the urge to retreat kicks in.
This was confirmed last year when I assessed and then studied my personality based on the Myers & Briggs personality test. You can read more about it here. Turns out, this need for space is well-imbedded in my personality, the INFJ:
While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.
I like the phrase 'necessary escape valve'. It can feel like oxygen to a suffocating soul to me when I can break away and breathe solitude. Paradoxically, there can be a danger in my personality type in having too much 'living in my own head' time. As with most of life, finding a balance is the key.
I am intensely intrigued by the study of personalities. No two are alike, but it is amazing that there are pattens. I believe, wholeheartedly, in discovering what makes oneself tick. And what ticks oneself off. This is handy information when navigating paths in life, and the tricky, slippery, daunting aspects of relationships. I personally think these tests should be required in college as you make some of the most life-altering decisions of your life. I highly encourage everyone to investigate their own personalities and that of their loved ones.
What 'need' does your personality often have? How best do you meet that need?
I know what you mean about working with your personality.
ReplyDeleteI'm an INFP, and sometimes just need to sit and process all the stuff that comes into my brain. Sometimes there is just too much noise and talk on the radio, and I just like to hear the near-silence of the house or the woods, where the noise of civilization is a background hum.
Since Is and Ns are relatively rare, I think the ESs need to be taught how to manage with us around. hahahaha.
Happy AZChallenge2U!
Hi Charlotte! I love your blog, by the way!!! :-)
ReplyDeleteI am surprised that personality profiles/analyses aren't used more often. I see such great benefits in all relationships, especially when a couple is dating/serious and contemplating marriage. I know it sounds a bit impersonal to say 'Honey, after this candlelit dinner, can I have you fill out a 14 page personality profile? I'd like to see if we are a good fit.' but it would certainly give insight into each other and hopefully open more communication.
I too, enjoy silence. I also need breaks from the 'clamor of technology' - just as I can get weary of interaction overload with folks, I can feel similar when I am in the mode of blog/facebook/texting/phone/email/twitter, etc. It's social media noise and I need a rest from that too, from time to time.
Yes, I agree! If we used these profiles more often, we could learn so much about how to interrelate!!!!
Best on the Rest of the Challenge! We're over halfway there!